i miss the words ‘i love you’
we were in love just a second ago
now i spend my new days painting ink portraits
of damaged and naked brown girls
you take it as a threat
as if i have the will right now
to make these wounds stop bleeding
from the tip of the weapon that still you have not dropped from your hands.
a wonder of a man
i can’t wander here anymore
from hot to cold to hot to cold to-
hopefully my next lover doesn’t have so many temperatures.
i was there for you for all of your extremes,
you know we shared the same fire
but this turned into just the same movie, on re-wind,
i had to pause it. we needed to fast forward
there was no way to get out alive
so there was no reason to stay
because i could not take to the conclusion that we all die anyways.
somethings are better left painted than said.
sometimes I try to purify my hate instead
of letting it go, only to let it grow.
i refuse to turn in a black hole
i will not absorb others light to replace theirs with my own pain.
hopeless romantics, empathic recovering lover.
i will continue love because i know what it is like to have lost
knowing somewhere there is love after love for me.